Kevin Smith has predicted that Apple’s iPad will inevitably be used as an impromptu murder weapon in a future movie.
“Will the iPad change filmmaking? Well, it will probably be used to kill someone in a movie at some point. Yeah, the dead guy will have an iPad sticking out of his head. Somewhere Jobs is like, ‘hey, that’s not what we want.'”
Smith – who directed a number of classic films such as Clerks, Chasing Amy and Mall Rats – also told Macworld attendees that he didn’t see Avatar until just recently.
“I didn’t see Avatar until a couple of weeks ago, but not because I thought I was too cool. Yeah, I was working on another movie that won’t be as successful.
“So, my wife usually dictates what we watch – which means none of my movies. I told her, come on, the movie was sent to me free of charge, so it is like fu**ing Freevatar. We pop it in, the first half hour dialogue was really stiff and the aliens looked like Thundercats mixed with Smurfs.
“But after a half an hour, all of a sudden, we stopped making fun of it, it wasn’t fu**ing dumb anymore. It sounded like yoga, so it appealed to the wife – being ‘one with the land’ in Pandora. I was left making fun of the movie myself.
“She said Kevin, just stop it, not everything is funny. Last time she said that about a movie is when I accidentally knocked her up and fell asleep watching the Blair Witch Project.
“So Avatar, yeah, it is better than the new Star Wars, but like a big video game and shit. I enjoyed it for what it was – especially the sexy cat, wanted to f**k her, I did.
“Still, watching the movie was like medicine, I was lectured about how I horrible I was as a man. But I told my wife you can’t blame me for this shit in the film, they are cats, you know, they will find another tree.”
Finally, Smith commented on how the film industry has changed since the days of Clerks.
“Making movies is now in the hands of every idiot, instead of just some idiots. 15 years I’ve been making flicks, so the idea of democratization of film is totally OK with me. That is how I started. Other people wanted to tell stories to get their message across, fine.
“As long as I can talk about my how I’m fat and my dick, yeah people like that. Hope it gets into everyone’s hands. Life is all about levels and acceptability. Before you sell the film, money isn’t everything, but then it hurts when people talk shit about your shit. Still, I’m all for it. Will it put me out of a job? Well, I’m here until I die, which should be in about five years.
“The market is f**ked – going back to dark period of Indie film. Just going to be quiet for a while, harder to get films financed as the economy is tighter. DVDs are changing the way everything is accepted, Internet about to change distribution as well. The industry won’t have to waste money alerting people that movies exist. It is sometimes depressing to be an independent filmmaker, but also exciting, because someone [really] can change [the industry].”