Our friends at the Westboro Baptist Church have found a new way of spreading misery and hatred – sorry, God’s love – and are proposing to picket Steve Jobs’ funeral.
You’d think hell would be busting at the seams, what with all those soldiers, gay people, Jews and Muslims, but the guys with the hotline say Old Nick’s managed to make room for one more.
“Be still my heart!God H8s Fags & Steve Jobs in hell in Russia. Don’t worship the dead! #preachingtonations” tweets Margie J Phelps, daughter of the founder of the church, Fred Phelps.
“Westboro must picket funeral.”
Phelps seems just a touch confused about exactly why Jobs has been dispatched to the nether regions. In her barrage of tweets, for example, she says at one point: “No peace for man who served self, not God.” – something the members of her own church would never do, obviously.
Apparently he also ‘taught his neighbor to sin’.
But he can’t have been all bad – after all, Phelps herself is using an iPhone to spread her messages of love and peace.
“Rebels mad cuz I used iPhone to tell you Steve Jobs is in hell.God created iPhone for that purpose! :)” she explains.
Regular readers of TG Daily will remember that, back in February, the church announced that God hates hackers – but failed to provoke an attack from Anonymous.
“Sure, they’re loud-mouthed assholes who brainwash their children into hating everyone that isn’t in their church,” commented Anonymous.
“If we attack them because we hate their message, it will only publicize their radical views even more.”
Do, though, check out their website – it’s a hoot. There’s actually a live ticker showing how many people God has cast into hell since you started reading the page.
There’s also an explanation of “the doctrine of reprobation or God’s ‘HATE’.” Lovely.