Is your Christmas list ready? Let’s run down it now.
Turkey – yep, good idea. Everyone loves a plump bird at Christmas, and the leg or breast joke never ever gets old.
Tinsel – good one. A classic. A bit of festive cheer that can be worn by trees and drunken party-goers alike. The perfect companion to some bauble earrings, if you ask us.
Batteries – wait, what? Batteries? What about sprouts, cards, wrapping paper, advent calendars and cakes wrapped in enough marzipan to remind you that there’s a reason nobody has marzipan between January and November?
Don’t believe us? Here are four recommendations for batteries you’ll definitely need this Christmas.
Sometimes it’s a reindeer. Sometimes it’s a Christmas tree with a terrifying face. And sometimes it’s the big man himself, Father Christmas. Whatever style it’s in, everyone has a Christmas ornament that lights up, dances and plays tinny festive music at the slightest provocation. It’s wonderfully festive on December 21st, and by December 22nd you just want it to stop. But kids love it, so year after year, you wheel out the dancing decoration and slot in the AA batteries that bring so much joy – and the odd festive headache.
Just remember – take the batteries out before the dancing reindeer goes back into the loft. Otherwise they might leak, and that’ll mean no festive fun next year…
Ahh, Christmas morning. 10am. The presents have been opened, the turkey is in the oven, mum’s into the sherry and everyone’s desperate for some entertainment to tide us over until the Queen pops on telly.
What better festive fun than a rousing game of “shoot dad in the head from 500 yards on Call of Duty because he only touches the Playstation once a year?”
Beats Trivial Pursuits.
Anyway, if you don’t want the digital warfare to spill over into arguing and finger-pointing as everyone waves a dead wireless controller at each other, you’ll need to stock up on high-quality . Something like an Energizer ACCU recharge Extreme should keep the peace.
Speaking of the Queen, by the time about how she knocked back a whole bottle of gin at Prince Harry’s wedding, we’re usually too full of stuffing, meat and festive cheer to lift a finger. Let alone to waddle over the telly and fiddle with the controls to find a film to watch.
So having a TV remote in fine working order is crucial if you’re going to enjoy a heartwarming Christmas classic, a family friendly episode of Doctor Who, or the usual misery that can only be delivered by the traditional Eastenders’ Christmas murder spree.
You can probably just take the batteries out of that reindeer and stick them in the remote, but it makes sense to bulk buy a 30 pack of AA batteries ahead of time.
Finally, as the nights draw in, it’s time for that crafty turkey sandwich eaten in the driveway so that nobody knows you’ve been the first to crack and attack the leftovers.
Livening up your festive thievery with some twinkly lights is tradition, and most outdoor fairy lights run on AAA batteries. You’ll need something high powered to keep them running into the evening, or else you’ll end up spilling stuffing down your shirt in the dark – and that’s guaranteed to give the game away.
So before you sneak into the kitchen, make sure you’ve slipped a fresh batch of eneloop rechargeable batteries into the lights.
You can always bring the batteries back in to charge so you’ve got a plausible excuse for standing outside for five minutes. Just make sure you’ve brushed off any crumbs beforehand.
See? Whether it’s festive ornaments, family fun, or secret sandwich-scoffing, there’s a reason that batteries should be on your Christmas prep list. So go ahead – stock up today.