In what has to be the best explanation to staff ever, Woot CEO Matt Rutledge has announced that the company is to be taken over by Amazon.
The online retailer specializes in offering one deal per day. It launched in 2004, specializing mainly in tech items – today’s is a
Kindle for under $150 – although it has since expanded its range.
“This morning, I woke up to find Jeff Bezos the Mighty had seized our magic sword. Using the Arthurian model as a corporate structure was something our CFO had warned against from the very beginning, but now that’s water under the bridge,” says CEO Matt Rutledge in a letter to employees.
“We think now is the right time to join with Amazon because, quite simply, every company that becomes a subsidiary gets two free downloads until the end of July, and we very much need that new thing with Trent Reznor’s wife on our iPods.”
Rutledge says the company will continue to run as normal, and that he and the rest of the staff will be staying on in their Carrollton, Texas offices. Woot will continue to run as an independent unit, just like other recent acquisitions Zappos and Audible.
“From a practical point of view, it will be as if we are simply adding one person to the organizational hierarchy, except that one person will just happen to be a billion-dollar company that could buy and sell each and every one of you like you were office furniture,” he says.
“Woot and all our various sites will continue to be an independently operated company full of horrible, useless products and an untalented jerkface writing staff, same as it ever was.”