Yahoo staff showin' Marissa the love
It seems that the people at the search engine outfit Yahoo do not like being told to "eat their own dog food". Yup, they prefer Outlook to Yahoo Mail, which is about as damning as eating poop over Marissa Mayer's baked goods (that's not a euphemism, she actually likes to bake stuff).
Top Yahoo senior vice president of communications products, Jeff Bonforte, and CIO Randy Roumillat were shocked that staff disobeyed last year's dog food order, at the expense of losing PR value, profit potential and a cold wet nose.
Only a quarter of Yahoo staff have obeyed the company's request to "eat their own dog food" and switch to Yahoo Mail, no longer sleep or shag the postman's leg.
The email, leaked to All Things Digital, attempts to bring staff to heel. It begs staff to roll over to the corporate version of Yahoo's webmail system, and smacks staff who refuse to part with Microsoft Outlook with a rolled up newspaper.
"Earlier this year we asked you to move to Yahoo Mail for your corporate email account," the memo howled.... 25 percent of you made the switch (thank you). However, even if we used the most generous of grading curves (say, the one from organic chemistry), we have clearly failed in our goal to move our co-workers to Yahoo Mail.
"Beyond the practical benefits of giving feedback to your colleagues on the Mail team, as a company it's a matter of principle to use the products we make," the memo whinged.
Yahoo mail must be fairly bad. The memo slags off Microsoft Outlook, describing it as "anachronism of the now defunct 90s PC era, a pre-web program written at a time when NT Server terrorised the data centre landscape with the confidence of a T-Rex born to yuppie dinosaur parents who fully bought into the illusion of their son's utter uniqueness because the big-mouthed, tiny-armed monster infant could mimic the gestures of The Itsy-Bitsy Pterodactyl".
So if Yahoo Mail is that bad and 75 percent of Yahoos still want to use dinosaur technology in preference to the search engine's own software, it really must be pants.
Bonforte, and Roumillat beg Outlook fans that it's time to let go - "at this point in your life, Outlook may be familiar, which we can often confuse with productive or well designed".
Of course, Bonforte, and Roumillat have to admit that there might be times when it's necessary to use Microsoft's software to access corporate features, such as when adding a delegate to a calendar. At this point "you can still fire up Outlook for 30 seconds," the memo reads.
Or you can leave it on and forget that Yahoo has a product.