Microsoft feels the bite of Friday the 13th.... metaphorically

Posted by Emory Kale

Microsoft stock is taking a pounding, worse thing in 13 years; it's going all negative campaign ads on the iPad to move the stockpile of Surface tablets that no one wanted to buy, and, all those publications that took Microsoft ad money this year are now free to go all nyah, nyah, nyah on Redmond. Lord, what is wrong with the world today?

 

According to Reuters, this is Friday the 13th for Microsoft in all but date:

Microsoft (MSFT) shares fell more than 12 percent on Friday, their biggest plunge in 13 years, a day after the software company posted dismal quarterly results due to weak demand for its latest Windows system and poor sales of its Surface tablet.
 
The sell off comes after the stock was riding at five-year highs and is the biggest in percentage terms since April 2000, when the world's largest software company was locked in an antitrust dispute with the U.S. government and the internet stock bubble was deflating rapidly.
 
Friday's loss means about $36 billion has been wiped off Microsoft's market value in one day, exceeding the size of rival Yahoo Inc.
 
Microsoft's earnings were wrecked by a $900 million write down on the value of unsold Surface tablets after it cut prices in a bid to excite buyers.
 
The poor results shocked Wall Street, which had believed the company's strength with business customers would help it ride out a downturn in consumer PC sales. The results provoked fresh skepticism of Chief Executive Steve Ballmer's new plan to reshape the company around devices and services, unveiled last week.
 
"The recent reorganization does not fix the tablet or smartphone problem," said Nomura analyst Rick Sherlund in a note to clients on Friday. "The devices opportunity just received a $900 million hardware write-off for Surface RT and investors may not even like the idea of wading deeper into this territory."
 
But, Microsoft isn't going to take this lying down. Nope. They are going all negative on the defenseless iPad, which is getting beaten up by everyone for being a stuck up little byacth, in tablet terms. Here's the Microsoft iPad sucks ad by Siri's cousin:
 

 
And here's our list of people who bite the hand that feeds them:
 
For Microsoft, not enough Surface appeal - Hah. That's funny Paul Vigna at Wall Street Journal.
 
Microsoft craters on the Surface - OMG. That is an awesome pun Jeff Muskus at BloombergBusinessWeek.
 
These two get to be paired because they probably got most of the online spend for Surface ads so, why the long faces:
 
 
 
Oh, we could go on, but we won't. You can Google it for yourselves.
 
Dear Microsoft:
 
Give us the money you would spend advertising your next great thing and we will love you for ever and not turn on you when you screw up. That's how we roll. 
 
Please also give us a new car this Christmas. We don't care what it is as long as it is not a 2003 Toyota Carolla with masking tape covering a hole on driver side passenger door, and a Ron Paul for President sticker that won't come off the back bumper.
 
Yours,
 
Impecunious TG Daily Editor