Unicorn meat irresponsibly marketed to Slashdot readers

Posted by Emory Kale

ThinkGeek gets a cease and desist letter from the other white meat lawyers on behalf of aggrieved pigs heading to slaughter.

There are days when you wish you had a really long spoon that could reach all the corners of the earth, and you could pull the spoon out and smack someone across the head because they were being really, really stupid.

Today, the super spoon would be used on the lawyers for the National Pork Board in Des Moines, Iowa. Not content with having the worst name for a place of work, ever, the board decided to send a cease and desist letter to ThinkGeek for marketing, and I quote, "Canned Unicorn Meat." ThinkGeek dared to mockingly refer to it as the other white meat.

"It was never our intention to cause a national crisis and misguide American citizens regarding the differences between the pig and the unicorn," said Scott Kauffman, President and CEO of Geeknet, albeit sarcasitcally thereby making the pigs fly, off the handle that is. "In fact, ThinkGeek's canned unicorn meat is sparkly, a bit red, and not approved by any government entity."

"Ironically, other than the Pork Board, we do more than anybody else to promote pig consumption among geeks," Kauffman said.  Constantly working to encourage a "passion for pork", ThinkGeek offers more than 15 different pork-inspired products including: Bacon Soap, Bacon Lip Balm, Bacon Mints, MMMMVelopes (bacon-flavored envelopes) and BaconPop Flavored Popcorn.

Not content with ridiculing the National Pork Board, ThinkGeek is leveraging the situation to sell more stuff. It is offering a $10 discount on any order of $40 or more that uses the code PORKBOARD at checkout, good until June 30, 2010 at 11:59 pm ET.

As it says in the King James Bible:

Isaiah 66:16        For by fire and by his sword will the LORD plead with all flesh: and the slain of the LORD shall be many.

Isaiah 66:17       They that sanctify themselves, and purify themselves in the gardens behind one [tree] in the midst, eating swine's flesh, and the abomination, and the mouse, shall be consumed together, saith the LORD.