Microsoft touts bipolar battery design

Microsoft has announced a bipolar battery design that can be easily installed in electronic devices.

“Never again will people have to squint to see battery installation diagrams. The device simply works regardless if the battery is installed positive-side-up or positive-side-down,” a triumphant Microsoft exclaimed in a painfully overly-dramatic press release.

“InstaLoad is a patented battery contact design now available for license by third-party device suppliers, with companies like Duracell already lining up to endorse the technology for use in their own products.”

So what applications do the brilliant minds at Redmond have in mind for their mood-swinging, bipolar creation?

Well, InstaLoad technology can be incorporated into devices that require frequent swap-outs, are used in less-than-ideal environments or demand several batteries.

In addition, users of devices with multiple batteries — including chargers, digital cameras, camera flash units and toys — could also benefit.

And, lest you thought otherwise, InstaLoad is a mechanical invention that does not drain power or require expensive electronic circuitry.

Rather, InstaLoad contacts can be “cost-effectively” designed into the majority of electronic devices and is compatible with popular off-the-shelf products powered by a range of batteries, such as the CR123, AA, AAA, C or D.