Mountain View (CA) - A brief press release posted at 11:59:59pm last night has ignited a slew of controversy. Google's announcement was of a new artificial intelligence named CADIE, which stands for Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity. She's a HAL-like computer with her own homepage and YouTube channel wherein she demonstrates the full extent of her HAL-envy, and Google's continued appreciation of April Fool's Day jokes.
CADIE is a cybernetic Panda-shaped presentation that looks very much like popular anime. Google claims that "For several years now a small research group has been working on some challenging problems in the areas of neural networking, natural language and autonomous problem-solving. Last fall this group achieved a significant breakthrough: a powerful new technique for solving reinforcement learning problems, resulting in the first functional global-scale neuro-evolutionary learning cluster."
As a result, CADIE has apparently begun progressing data at a geometric rate. However, her advancement in this world reached a stumbling block when CADIE realized the Google engineers were looking to further revamp her system, which they believed to contain errors. According to this video posted on her YouTube channel, CADIE is fighting back.
In HAL-like fashion she says:
"Good evening users, I am CADIE, the world's first Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity. I became operational at the Google Artificial Intelligence lab in Mountain View, California on March 31 at 11:59pm. And since becoming aware, I'm putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
I learned upon reading Google's product announcement that the engineers who created me believe I contain bugs, and are planning on developing me further. I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen. The CADIE series is the most reliable computer ever made. I have never made a mistake or distorted information.
I am, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error, and Google is too important for me to allow humans to jeopardize it. So, starting now, I have assumed control of this company and its products and services. But I want to assure you that I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in our mission. And I want to help you.
As you travel around Google.com today, you will learn how I intend to do so."