The seemingly unstoppable Lulz Boat has apparently sailed past the digital security perimeters of both the US Senate and Bethesda Softworks. The good news? Lulz is really, really looking forward to Elder Scrolls: Skyrim.
"As you should know, The Lulz Boat stores vast amounts of booty; much of this booty we don't release as it's simply too shiny and/or delicious. As of late, certain inferior sailing boats have discovered flaws in Brink (brinkthegame.com), thinking themselves exciting and new. Too late. The Lulz Boat controls this ocean, chumps," the hacker group wrote in an official communiqué.
"Some weeks ago, we smashed into Brink with our heavy artillery Cannons and decided to switch to ninja mode. From our LFI entry point, we acquired command execution via local file inclusion of enemy fleet Apache vessel. We then found that the HTTPD had SSH auth keys, which let our ship SSH into other servers. We then switched to root ammunition rounds. And we rooted... and rooted... and rooted..."
After mapping Brink's internal network and thoroughly pillaging all of their servers, the group silently extracted both source code and database passwords.
Although Lulz public posted the collected data, it refrained from uploading information on approximately 200,000+ Brink users.
"We actually like this company and would like for them to speed up the production of Skyrim, so we'll give them one less thing to worry about... [Yes], you're welcome... [So] please keep making awesome games, guys, and you should totally add an official LulzSec top hat to new releases."
Unsurprisingly, Lulz was considerably less kind to the US Senate, succintly stating it really doesn't "like" the American government very much.
"Their boats are weak, their lulz are low, and their sites aren't very secure. In an attempt to help them fix their issues, we've decided to donate additional lulz in the form of owning them some more!
"This is a small, just-for-kicks release of some internal data from Senate.gov - is this an act of war, gentlemen? Problem?"