Hordes of female addicts across the nation are jonesing to update their Facebook statuses like unrepentant heroin junkies chasing one last ethereal fix.
That's right: one-third of women (between the ages of 18-34) surveyed by Lightspeed Research admitted to checking FB first thing in the morning - even before using the bathroom or brushing their teeth.
Another 20 percent said they routinely woke up to check their Facebook account during the night, while a shocking 26 percent rouse themselves out of a deep sleep to read utterly inane text messages.
In addition, 57 percent talk more to people online than in face-to-face meetings, and 31 percent confessed to feeling more comfortable about their online personas than their real life selves.
Finally, 42 percent said they did not see anything wrong with posting photos of themselves visibly intoxicated - despite the fact that 63 percent used FB as a career networking tool.
Oh, the humanity - and the horror, the horror!