Google goes all TMZ: founder Brin, departing exec Barra, and worker bee hottie raptus regaliter

Posted by Emory Kale

The Internets are burning up because Sergey Brin may be having an affair with a woman who may have been the paramour of the mobile exec, Hugo Barra, who is defecting to Chinese mobile phone upstart Xioamia, leaving Ann Wojcicki, who is the sister of yet another senior Google exec, Susan Wojcicki. Meanwhile Lamar may, or may not, be having drug abuse issues leaving us all wondering whether Khloe is going to put on weight again.

That's it. That's all there is to say for our part because, frankly, we don't get what all the fuss is about.

1. Brin and Wojcicki have a pretty ironclad pre-nup meaning there is no impact on Google's business or Brin's shares or the fact that Google Glass just got douchier by association. Yes, cheating on a spouse is douchey.

2. Hugo Barra and Susan Wojcicki are expendable execs. Sure, Hugo Barra once did something with a Nexus, and Susan did have Page and Brin start up Google in her home's garage, but really, they could collapse under the pressure and life will go on. There will not be a single blip on the radar of humanity.

3. Lamar is probably on drugs because he has had to put up with the Kardashians. Let's be honest.

4. None of this stuff is that interesting so, why are Forbes, Silicon Valley Business Times, San Jose Mercury News, AllThingsD, Time, and many more reputable publications covering this story like they are wannabe TMZ's?

By the way, TMZ is covering the fact that Michael Keaton is endorsing Ben Affleck as a future Batman. Now that is important news. It will impact our lives, certainly one upcoming summer movie season.

The hottie at the center of all this - the one who is supposed to be the former girlfriend of Hugo Barra and is now the girlfriend of Sergey Brin - she has truly scored because her Klout score must be huge now.

I think the best coverage of this story in a sort of quasi-serious-journalistic-but-we-really-want-to-dish-sort-of-way is the Daily Mail. They have nice pictures, too.

 

So, our assessment is: would you or would you not have hit that knowing that you were about to unleash hell?