300: Rise of an Empire trailer puts Persians in a pickle

Posted by Emory Kale

Well, it seems the Persian Empire need only have not given itself up to the dreams of a buff, oiled up, hugely pierced, Speedo wearing king and they would have done just fine. Or, graphic novels are not historically accurate. We are confused by all the man candy on display.

Considering that Xerxes was a monotheistic monarch who had a long beard, a decent set of Shirley Temple curls a la Afro, and liked to dress in long silk robes, the rest of 300: Rise of an Empire looks to be a historical record that will stand up just dandy to scholarly scrutiny.

The original Xerxes did not do well at the box office

Who cares. This is a gorgeous, epic trailer. Everyone is oiled up. They have great abs. Eva Green is wicked good. Lena Headey tries to make up for the excesses of Cersei by going back to her natural brunette roots. Frank Miller hates on Middle Easterners. Persians will get mad.