Will Ben Affleck ruin The Stand?

Posted by CB Droege

Warner Bros. has reportedly chosen Ben Affleck to direct the feature-length film adaptation of Steven King’s The Stand.

Personally, I think one film adaptation is enough, especially since the last one was 6 hours long.

A while back I read the studio was hitting major stumbling blocks with The Stand that could force its  cancellation. Frankly, I was ecstatic.

The Stand
is one of the worst stories ever told by anyone, and utterly undeserving of anyone’s attention or adaptation.

King is a hack. In general, his stories are overwrought, self-aware, gratuitously gory triteness-festivals of poor prose. He’s the Jackson Pollock of fiction.

The Stand in particular breaks almost all conventions of modern narrative, and not in a good way.

The characters are shallow and too numerous, descriptive scenes are far too long, the plot has jagged escalation, and the climax is entirely passive, all of which comes together to make the story a very long waste of time.

However, it is interesting that Warner Bros. is rumored to have chosen Ben Affleck, who, like King, is immensely popular, despite a nearly complete lack of talent (see everything that Affleck is involved in other than Good Will Hunting and Sarah Silverman videos).

Perhaps they are going for a double negative: Maybe Affleck’s lack of talent and The Stand’s lack of a coherent story will cancel each other out, and turn the film into merely a boring, effects flick. I think that’s the best we can hope for.

Don’t expect me to go in to this movie with an open mind. I learned my lesson about that from the 1994 adaptation, which still makes me upset to think about.

No announcement has yet been made about a production or release schedule for The Stand.