OnlineBootyCall.com, OMG, surpasses 5 million skanks and skankettes

Posted by Emory Kale

The site also trademarks the term "Booty Call." We're not making this stuff up. People on the Internets are not like you and me.

OnlineBootyCall.com has reached more than five million registered members. In addition, it has officially trademarked what it calls, "the most popular term in modern dating:" booty call. It's stuff like this that make us wonder if there is any need to even procreate anymore. Really, do we need to. Let's stop now before we create more people who will go on the Internets and make people suck even more than they already do.

“We are extremely proud of this new milestone and glad to offer more than five million people the luxury of casual online dating in a fun environment,” said Moses Brown, founder and president of OnlineBootyCall.com. “The phrase ‘booty call’ has made its mark in pop culture and we were thrilled to trademark such an iconic term.”

I bet you are Moses. I bet you are.

The site was founded in 2003 and it wants to "empower" singles to get into "relaxing relationships" and not one night stands or a long-term relationship. Yes, if you had told someone that you wanted a "relaxing relationship" and not offered to tap boots, hide the salami, or play doctor, you may have found greater success at your local watering hole.

Of course, the site also calls it a booty call, a term it apparently owns now so, it just goes to prove that in the battle of the sexes, no one knows anything. Oh, yeah, OnlineBootyCall's "Booty Call Commandments" have also been revised.

Commandment V: Thou shalt kiss anything except my mouth

At this point, you may want to take a shower, watch a Meg Ryan movie - pre-plumped lips and bad surgery Meg Ryan - or visit your local Center for Disease Control.

Oh, yeah, according to the site, "The phrase “booty call” no longer describes a casual sex encounter but rather a casual relationship."

That's okay then. Everybody skank now!