AARP survey reveals geezer love of social networking

Posted by Emory Kale

There is an organization devoted to people who are old. They have wealth and power, and they own the Internets. OMG!

The American Association of Retired Persons, past tense, otherwise known as AARP, present tense, has a survey out this month to help it dig the Internets, and get hep to the beat of the Web. They serve 50+ million people and that's a lot of people. If they were WARP, and served the world, they would be bigger than Facebook. That's right, I said it, they would kick Facebook's ass, and then take a nap.

Anyhow, I am about 12 years away from my membership so, suck it geezers, I can say whatever I want. Grammy, I love you.

The survey is, nevertheless, enlightening in many, many ways:

  • 40% of adults over 50 consider themselves cool with the Internet. The figure is 49% if they haven't hit 65, but 26% if they are over 65. This proves that the Internets are exhausting and lack the qualities of tasty puddings.
  • Sadly, among the Hispanic community the figure is 21% in total. In general, the proportion of Hispanic adults who dig the Internets in this age group is half the general population of geezers. The trend is consistent in the whole report when it comes to the Hispanic community showing that the digital divide is real and continues to exist at all levels of society.
  • As far as news is concerned, print still gets 40% of the over 50 crowd. Crazily enough, even for the ones who get their news online, a third go to cable news websites, and a third to the websites of traditional newspapers and magazines. Suckers be not reading TG Daily.
  • 23% use Facebook. We must not hold that against them because, for geezers using social media, three quarters, or 73% to be precise, are linking up with relatives. The data correlates to the fact that 47% of people over 50 get introduce to social media by a family member.
  • And no report is complete these days without a reference to an Apple product. 83% had heard of the Apple iPad, but only 2% own one. Yay, old people have wisdom. Only one tent of those aware of the iPad plan to buy one. They're heavy and not a in 60s, Cheech and Chong sort of way. They weigh a lot.

You can read the whole report here. We salute the geezer generation on the Internets. We truly do. Love you, dad. Sorry, I can't make it for Father's Day this Sunday.