Nubile devices replace geezer computers

Posted by Emory Kale

Hot, young, seksi  gadgets and gizmos  can do just as much as old farty  laptops and desktops. Old 'uns  rage at the wind before afternoon nap.

It's good to be young. You can do all kinds of things that geezers can't do: jumping. Jumping is hard when you are old. It is fun and easy when you are bursting with hormones. Devices like smart-phones and pad computers are dominating the mind-share of the tech world, and desktop computers are beginning to look like wheezy dinosaurs. The world belongs to the young, who despite their sense of entitlement, and lack of social skills, still look better naked.

Of course, it's unlikely that many geezers will let go of the laptop or the desktop. Geezers still think that typing with both hands and all of your fingers is a skill. I have news for you AARPists, voice and video will replace text soon enough. No one writes anymore, except bloggers, and they're old, unemployed journalists bleating at the dawn of a new age in communications.

And sure, you need something substantial for certain types of work. I mean, you can't expect to do CAD on your phone, unless it eventually hooks up to a multi-screen set-up, I guess. Sure, you need to keep uncool peons in the company employment pool hooked into the slow drip of information technology that sits on their desks. You wouldn't want them roaming around, dropping expensive gadgets like an iPad, and blaming sciatica on having to keep packs of screen wipes in their back pockets.

But, we don't care about nobodies. Somebodies are ditching their computers and doing cool things like answering calls while they are standing in line for a cup of coffee at Peet's. And while I am at it, Starbucks sucks! Peet's rules! This is why only cool people with devices can infringe on the sanctity of the whole milk cappuccino at Peet's. You flip open your laptop in line and you're in for a whole world of pain nobody dude!

It is sad, though. It is sad to think that we are so mobile. It allows us to escape and connect less, moving our communications hub with us to some corner of the world, and assuming that the act of being on-line is enough to justify a social tag.

At least with a desktop, you had a desk, and a desk had an office, and an office had other people, and you could always call tech support, and make fun of them when they came to fix your overheating box of corporate crap. Those sweet contemptuous looks. I will miss them the most. People in tech support will never get iPads because they will go postal. They will see that there is not enough stuff that can be plugged in, pulled out, replaced, or rebooted. They are happier looking contemptuously at those that have pads and gizmos and gadgets; young, sexy, hard bodied beauties, male and female, in constant motion.