Apple Tablet: best product launch ever

Posted by Emory Kale

There is NOTHING going on that's why Apple could launch a marshmallow into a bucket of iced tea next week and it would be the most amazing thing ever. A low fat, sugar free marshmallow in edible gold paper shot out of a Prada cannon by Victoria's Secret' models, of course.

Judging by the design of the invite for the Apple launch event next week in San Francisco, California, Stevie Jobs is either considering an entry into the paintball market, or he is going to announce his acceptance at The Learning Annex where he will be taking a course in Jackson Pollock: 10 Steps to Becoming a Billionaire Painter. You know that they have courses like that at the Annex so, don't give me crap about it.

We're not going to speculate what the launch is actually about because there are others who are better at it, and only a handful of people really know. They usually end up at the bottom of the Bay.

We do know one thing, however, an Apple Tablet will be a tipping point for the personal computer industry. The smartphone market is, without doubt, more exciting, more energetic, growing, and technically nimble than anything happening in the personal computer space. We also know that the iPhone did create a marked shift in people's perceptions of what a phone is and could be.

If Apple can create a similar shift in perception with a tablet device it would probably signal the beginning of the end of the traditional desktop or laptop. I would gladly welcome the end of the lousy netbook, a heaping pile of miniaturized poop that should have never been allowed outside of the design lab.

No siree. I want a tablet device and if it is a giant version of an iPhone with a higher res screen, and more computing power then so be it. I want to get away from my desktop and my laptop. They are boring me. They are holding me back. They are not very interesting, and they are not cool in any shape or form. You walk into a bistro in Temecula and pull out an Apple Tablet and the chicks will go crazy. You whip out a netbook and they give you a wedgie.

However, if the Apple Tablet puts out as much heat as an iPhone, and scales accordingly in terms of power consumption then, I feel sorry for those people who will not be able to afford to get on the spaceships that will fly us off the planet as it dies from a horrible climate catastrophe. That is not my problem nor should it be the problem of the many people with good credit and a Prius.

I guess in one week we will all know the truth. Start hyperventilating now.

 

 

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