Windows 8: Microsoft losing the upgrade thread

The typical two year PC upgrade cycle and Microsoft's software roadmap is not going to hold in a Web-centric app-happy world. Does Redmond get it?

iPhone iOS4 problems require new level help

Apple releases phone troubleshooting manuals online. IT managers clamber for iPhones to save tech support jobs.

Google Apps pries young minds away from Microsoft

New training programs for education are laying the foundation for Google's advance into schools.

Islam v. Internets II: Fundamentalists Strike Back

No good can come of censoring the Web, but it doesn't seem to bother Pakistan. iPhone 4 not sufficiently blasphemous to get banned, but hipsters may be lashed.

Anthem Blue Cross website hack of 200,000+ customers

Identity thieves promise everyone free buckets of Oxycotin and Vicodin Jello shots.

Thousands line-up for crappy reception

The Internets are abuzz with news of thousands of people camping out for new phones that have serious design flaws. This phenomenon is known as "I believe everything Geezer Mossberg says."

Unicorn meat irresponsibly marketed to Slashdot readers

ThinkGeek gets a cease and desist letter from the other white meat lawyers on behalf of aggrieved pigs heading to slaughter.

Sperm bank for vain people created

A new, virtual sperm and egg bank has been created, enabling really, really shallow people to breed.

Is Facebook working on God 2.0?

Judging by its marketing, the Internet's most popular site is curing all ills and helping mankind achieve a state of enlightenment, naked on the Internet.

IBM supercomputer to compete in Jeopardy

One wonders how long most human contestants spend practising for an appearance on the quiz show Jeopardy!. It's probably not as long as IBM's Watson supercomputer, which is finally ready to play after three years' hard work.

AARP survey reveals geezer love of social networking

There is an organization devoted to people who are old. They have wealth and power, and they own the Internets. OMG!

5 things people without an iPhone 4 can do

If you don't have one of Apple's golden tickets on pre-order you have other things you can do.

Functioning lightsaber goes on sale

In official censuses over the last few years, hundreds of thousands of people have listed their religion as Jedi - indeed, it's the second-largest religious affiliation in New Zealand.

Google crashes and burns with home page shakeup

When users went to Google.com this morning, something looked a bit different - quite a bit different in fact - causing a full-scale outrage like never before.

Gamers attempt mass breakout from Chinese rehab clinic

Internet addicts at a Chinese rehab clinic have been recaptured after a mass breakout in which they tied their instructor to his bed.

Man swipes police website to complain about speed cameras

A Tennessee man found the perfect revenge after he was given a speeding ticket - he bought the local police department's website, and used it to complain.

Gizmodo not invited to WWDC keynote. Why, oh, why?

Maybe it's because they'd seen the future and they didn't feel like they were going to need shades.

5 Don't Cares At Apple's WWDC

The hype surrounding Apple's WorldWide developer Confernce kick-off today is overwhelming. Here's 5 reasons not to care.

Knot theorem could have implications for DNA as well as tangled flex

A mass experiment begins today to test a possible solution to one of life's recurring problems: the way headphone cords, electrical cables and the like get themselves into a tangled knot the minute your back is turned.

Breaking on Google: First iPhone 4G Case

What do you want me to say? I have nothing going on today. Nothing. This was featured on Google News today. Right at the top. I went for it. You go for it, too. Sucks to be me, huh?