Tiger Woods shows Geek Indiscretions

Posted by Emory Kale

By now, everyone except Osama Bin Laden and his band of cave dwellers has heard of Tiger Woods, world's greatest golfer ever, shtupping many, many women who are less hot than his wife, but significantly dirtier and more likely to flash you in a strip club. Wait for it, there is a tech angle. Well, it seems that having a billion dollars does not absolve the Woodsmeister (extremely unfortunate nickname) from being an idiot when it comes to the proper use of electronics and communications in the pursuit of nasty, nasty nookie.

"Rhode Island Private Eye, Vic Pichette, of Genesis Investigations, a
22-year veteran says “ It is amazing to me that a person like Tiger
Woods did not know that everything he was doing on his and others
people’s cell phones and computers is out there for all of us to see. I
have no idea what he was thinking...."

That's from Providence Business News.

Mr. Pichette is not alone. Many married men, at the risk of divorce, have voiced their own concerns. They have said, "Dude, how can you leave hundreds of text messages lying around. Texting, sexting, what the heck is the matter with you, man?! Did you get this great idea that The Internets would just miraculously hide everything for you because they like the way you putt?!"

Scott Kleinberg at Chicago Now has a nice piece on the general impact of technology on the illicit affair demographic:

Looking back, we were warned, though. Hall and Oates still sing it to us.

Private Eyes
they're watching you
they see your every move
Private Eyes
they're watching you
Private Eyes
they're watching you watching you watching you watching you
And
as if the moral component -- or having to admit that Hall and Oates
were right -- of such an affair wasn't bad enough, technology is
turning out to be a trap. In many cases, stupidity is what does one of
the participants in. But at the end of the day, it's hard to keep
something so scandalous secret when it's on the Internet or a device
where prying eyes could peek."

Granted, references to pop duos from the 70s are awesome, but the fact remains, living your life today requires an religious devotion to an electronic burkha, and if you are a billionaire, you can probably pay some very good people to take care of it for you.

Am I condoning Tiger's indiscretions? Of course not. I am merely bemoaning his lack of technology savvy. That is a far greater sin than the aforementioned shtupping of many, many woman who enjoy sex with rich people. We can't hold our very, very rich megastars of golf to the same moral standards as the rest of us, no we can not, but we should expect them to do a better job of securing their technology because, most of us are unlikely to be courted by Las Vegas nightclub hostesses, but we can probably erase a text message or send a message anonymously.

We can only hope that this geek disaster of epic proportions is going to result in the collapse of the world order as stupid rich people self destruct on Twitter and Facebook, but in the meantime, if you have the skill set, you might want to apply for the job of Electronic Security Consultant - Famous Fornicator. It's on Craigslist.

TIger and Elin Woods at happier times