A bloke who designs cases for iPhones says you should fork out $34.99 for one of his exciting products because it 'protects the iPhone from scratches, dust and boringness'.
And designer Joe Van Wetering isn't likely to be scared at the prospect of true Apple believers popping round to strike down his sorry ass with great vengeance and furious anger - he informs us that his design 'came to fruition after I defeated Zeus in a bar fight with my bare hands.'
Setting aside for a moment the inability of most graphic designers to even remove the wrapper from a Hershey Bar with their bare hands, let alone leaving a major deity in a pool of blood on a bar room floor, we are assured that Van Wetering's design, Clouds Within The Thunder, snaps around your iPhone to provide protection from scratches, dust and boringness, adding less than 1mm of thickness to your iPhone without blocking the dock connector, controls and headphone jack.
The 'Zeus-tested, Thor-approved case is available in a limited numbers, so you shouldn't dilly-dally,' it says here.
But wait! There's more!
Not only can you save your iPhone from boringness with Joe's exciting case, you can download matching wallpaper and even buy a T-Shirt for another twelve bucks to really impress your imaginary friends. And in the unlikely event that anyone who'd fall for all this crap would ever get laid, you can even buy one for your kids.
Let's leave the last word to Joe: "With this much awesomeness crammed into one thin case, we expect them to sell out quickly. When they’re gone, they’re gone. So hop to it. Click. Buy. Be happy."