Facebook's Zuckerberg pwns Privacy: Whatever, dude!

Posted by Emory Kale

Someday everyone will broadcast their colonoscopies on the Internets friend a serial killer on Facebook.

That Zany Zuckerberg. He is, like, so young and cool and rich and famous. He is CEO of the mighty Facebook but he is humble too. We know this because he has gone on record as saying that he will only do what social norms dictate. Or, to put in another way, Facebook thinks privacy is soooo 2009.

Members of the jury, if you are in doubt, allow me to make my case. This example of indifference to should not be ignored. And this one, too. And maybe this one. I could go on, but it would cruel and unusual punishment.

There is no adult supervision at Facebook, just a pack of braying wolves waiting for an IPO, and that can only mean one thing? Yes, you guessed it, monetization. Monetization, in this case, means Facebook has to show it can make money off of you and your high school friends so, it's going to pretend that you don't care if Google knows that you really, really wanted to sleep with Imelda Constance Bagnold in the 10th grade, and that you once had a testicle showing on the beach in Cabo. It will help sell shoes and penile enlargement solutions, contextually speaking. You can never have enough of either. Everyone wins.

The thing is, you only have to make one mistake, have one mad moment of dumb assedness, and what little character or discretion you have will go out the window to be replaced by the digital equivalent of genital herpes. Yep, I said it, Facebook, if used unprotected, will give you digital herpes. Shouldn't there be Senate hearing on this stuff?