Yahoo! to Google: You's slacking

Posted by Emory Kale

Carol Bartz, who is my favorite person in the whole world for the next three minutes, thinks Google's kind of one dimensional. Oooh, burn!

The BBC, which invented Gordon Ramsay and discovered pre-menopausal sluttery, has got a lovely chat with Carol Bartz, CEO of Yahoo! Crate and Barrel, Cockney rhyming slang for Carol, thinks that Kit and Caboodle, Cockney rhyming slang for Google, is going to have to diversify. Kiss the Poodle, Cockney rhyming slang for slacker search engine giant, is only known for its search engine prowess, you see, and that is nearly not enough.

Eggy Farts, cockney rhyming slang for rich lady running Internet company, makes the point that while search is almost all of Hide the Noodle's business, it is only half of the business for Yogi and Boo Boo, Cockney rhyming slang for web directory gone mad. The BBC quotes her as saying:

"Google has to grow a company the size of Yahoo every year to be interesting."

Bartz, of course, can say all of this because, it's mostly true and she doesn't care if anyone doesn't like it, and she is much tougher and ballsier than Eric Schmidt. Ironically, Eric Schmidt is missing from any references to the Cockney language which makes him quite sad by comparison. However, he is much richer than Bartz so, it all evens out in the end. Way to go glass roof!

You will have to read the rest of the article at the BBC because, our Cockney rhyming slang editor, Abdul Abulbul Amir, just died. Sad, but true.